Scott of the Antarctic

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Scott of the Antarctic

Post  Boz1964 on Sat Dec 02, 2017 2:37 pm

Scott of the Antarctic

It is a very rare occasion, when I go to watch the football at Penydarren Park and come home feeling younger than when I left .

But today against Biggleswade Town, I felt I had been cryogenically frozen.

After last week's successful media promotion hashtag by the Park View Martyrs, this week's offering should have been '#Ice Pack the Park.

Not just because of some of the hard physical play by the Biggleswade 8, but due to the freezing cold conditions at the stadium today.

Normally, on a Saturday afternoon in our house, my Wife goes off food shopping, whilst I go to the football and the advertising slogan 'Good job Mum's gone to Iceland' is heard .....but today it was a case that Dad did too.

Whereas, we Merthyr-born people are Mountain Men built in the mould of Grizzly Adams, poor old Scott Tancock coming from Swansea and it's warm sea-level temperatures, must have been frozen solid, waiting for Biggleswade Town to venture glacier-like out of their own half.

He isn't Gylfi Siggurdson.

It is funny how the Sporting World goes, as two weeks ago, I was sitting in the Millennium Stadium watching the worst game of rugby union ever as Wales played Georgia.

All the while my focus was on the football result, as unbelievably young Merthyr side lost to
Chesham 13-1, as goal after goal came in my mobile phone, I felt that I was being
trousered tasered, as alert after alert sent my leg into spasm.

Today, whilst watching the Merthyr Town game, I was thinking of Cardiff Bay and the warm home of the WRU with its bursts of flaming gas jets that greet the players onto the pitch and of course a retractable roof, just a short throw from the former mooring of Captain Robert Falcon Scott's ship 'The Terra Nova'.

With the announcement at the Merthyr Town AGM this week, that our Club had a five-figure sum of debt, it wasn't exactly new territory we were exploring but it appears the Club too was very low on supplies.

But thanks to the valiant efforts of the Park View Martyrs , a certain hero goalkeeper and new board members in waiting coming to our aid, what was a sinking ship now has at least a chance of limping along till Christmas and the much coveted Hereford match on Boxing Day.

It will still take a 'Titanic' effort from 'Director Cameron' and others to keep us up but if the big freeze continues our fans and players will be bluer than the cast of Avatar.

A special credit too to those long travelling Biggleswade fans who made the the trip in their 'Bedford' van and left their presence behind in the form of a Waders scarf in the Park View Pub.

It was great to hear a set of vocal away fans although though ornithologist bird call specialist Percy Edwards wouldn't have recognised any Herons or Hoopoes in amongst the Biggleswade posse.

They certainly didn't 'hide' their presence.

With Merthyr having the best of a very forgettable first half, but carrying less threat to the Biggleswade igloo goal than global warming, the halftime came with the game scoreless- although like the air temperatures it should have been in the minus.

Despite the best efforts of Matthew Harris and Kerry Morgan to create a spark in the match- the Merthyr attack couldn't catch a fire- in the same way it has been all season - with the Away side too offering little by way of attacking flair.

The game was played mostly in midfield, as the players avoided the icebergs near the centre circle and of course the 'growler' in the shape of Ashley Evans.

Credit to the Biggleswade players who seemed to have got on the right side of the
Dennis Wisesque referee Michael Halford, as foul after foul went unpunished and un-carded with the only booking being for the frustrated looking figure of Ian Traylor, who was struggling for movement as the ink in his neck tattoos had frozen, leaving him unable to move his head.

The Number 8 for Biggleswade - christened OJ Simpson -as he seemed to be getting away with murder, ran roughshod over the official, whilst the slightest touch from a Merthyr player led to the inevitable game slowing free kick.

After 70 minutes, I had worked out why the man in black had the surname Halford- as he told the 'pumped-up' Traylor & Co to 'get on their bike'.

It seemed that the game would peter out to a goalless draw but the Biggleswade 9 -
Jack Bowen had other ideas.

And it came in a classic case of footballing snatch & grab, as Jarrad Wright decided to go on one of his trademark runs to create some space and energy into a listing Merthyr attack but unfortunately proceeded to lose the ball leaving a Rhondda shaped hole at the heart of the Home defence which was exploited by diminutive Danger Mouse Morgan Penfold on the wing and finished by the Biggleswade striker for the first of his brace.

It was a little harsh on the Merthyr side, who had made most of the play but in football it is all about finding the back of the net.

Merthyr huffed and puffed visibly in the freezing air but despite the return of our Pontypridd 'Saviour' the result was over as a contest.

Even our Sub-Hero couldn't overcome Sub-Zero.....but just wait until he is match fit - that beard is a real incendiary device.

There was also a late cameo for young striker Flower but it was too cold for even him to blossom as there wasn't much service from the 'borders'.

I begged referee Halford to offer me some anti-freeze relief by blowing his whistle.

I feared his pea was frozen.

After two pints of Carling and no-toilet visit- I KNEW mine was.

As I said to Ownes at the end of the game- 'I am just going outside and I may be some time'.

I looked over at Ground-Hopping Antarctic Explorer Sir Ranulph Fiennes, who was supporting Biggleswade today who held both of his hands up and I could count on his remaining fingers the final score.


It was a poor result in a poor match from all accounts ( to be revealed in January) from a poor club.

And without taking anything from Biggleswade and their loyal travelling fans ( they had a long
Wader Go) they too are hardly likely to set the Evostik alight this season.

I hope their home journey by Huskies with three points is a safe one.

The New Hashtag for Scott of the Antarctic Tuesday Night against Banbury should be:-


santa santa santa



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