Rebels without a Pause

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Rebels without a Pause

Post  Boz1964 on Wed Oct 11, 2017 2:17 pm

Rebels without a Pause

Gutted?

No ...I am not talking about what those cheeky Kettering Fans were singing at our centre half on Saturday....I am talking about the Merthyr Fans after an incredible match at Penydarren Park last night.

As Merthyr Town, fresh from a humiliating 5-0 drubbing at the hands of the Poppies on the weekend, took on second -placed Slough Town in the match of the season so far at the Loadlok Stadium.

Manager SuperGav wanted a reaction from his players after their embarrassing record loss and boy did he get it.

It was a bigger shock than the time a woman called Anna Phalatic got a job in the KP factory.

Who would have believed that Merthyr would have been 4-0 up inside the first twenty or so minutes against a Rebel Army who had 'sloughtered' all and sundry this season in their path?

Merthyr's first half tactic of launching the ball forward for the swift running Ian Traylor was to reap more dividends than a Conservative shareholder in the recently piratised Post Office.

Traylor was hotter than a Californian barbecue and not only scored two superb goals but laid on a cross box ball that our newly capped Welsh striker only had to keep his eyes open to convert.

Like his shirt number, he deserved 11 out of 10 for his dazzling display of brilliance.

And when the Slough Centre Half sliced a clearance high into his own net - it seemed that even 'friendly bombs' were to be the undoing of the Berkshire outfit.

Half- time came and it was the first time I have ever heard a radio commentator sobbing into his microphone, as Slough radio fans back home in the land of Mars resigned themselves to a defeat at the hands of the Welsh Warriors.

After Elliot Richards, Cameron Pring and Ashley Evans had cut them down from Kingsize to Bitesize.

As the Merthyr Team were rightly applauded off the field for that magnificent first half performance- it would have been only understandable that they to a man would have thought that three points were in the (fun) 'bag' but unfortunately the Merthyr Management hadn't legislated for something in the second half that even Chris Kamara would have found 'Unbelievable'.

The witchcraft of EUFA Ambassador Edward Thomas that is.

Who in their right mind states before the game that Merthyr Town would lose 5-4 only for it to come true?

Whether he is affiliated to the Malaysian Betting Syndicate 'Bet Ed' or whether the fact NostrEDamus has been living in too close proximity to the Romany settlement at Glynmill Caravan Park is the source of much speculation.

So don't blame our defence for the result .....blame Mystic Ed.

Next time you see him tell him to EUFA Cup or words to that affect- just in case the Slip Road soothsayer puts another curse on your beloved Martyrs.

How else do you account for the result otherwise than sorcery?

If the First Half was unexpected then the Second belonged to the alternate reality of Brexit, Trump and Boris Johnson for PM.

No sooner than the Abergavenny Farmers in the row behind me had finished counting their halftime chickens, than Slough got their first on the score sheet from fullback Nathan Smart.

And a screamer it was too.

It certainly made Oliver Davies hands smart, as the unstoppable North Korean missile burned a hole in the Merthyr net.

And bizarrely like someone had flicked a switch, Merthyr's egg-shell like confidence cracked and they dropped deeper than Cyril Smith bungee jumping.

Whether Merthyr had taken heed of the Minty tee-shirt slogan 'Be Casual' too literally ( now available in the Club Shop) but they invited the Slough Outfit back into a game they had no right to draw let alone win.

If the first Away Goal gave the Rebels a lifeline then their second through their ten, Chris Flood was to crack open the Gates.

With Merthyr reverting to playing one up solitary striker up front it left them more nervous than a politician hooked up to a polygraph.

Merthyr suddenly went from Barca to Loner in less than 17 Second Half minutes.

Trapped in their own half for long periods their only outlet was the pace of Ian Traylor, as the ball kept coming back from the halfway line with poor old Scott Tancock, Jarrad Wright & Co trying desperately to break out what was the resembling the footballing equivalent of the siege of Mafeking.

With the near Cockney Rebels shouting 'Mafeking Ball' they suddenly changed the tempo by injecting pace into their attack and some great combination footwork, as the danced around our defenders with their 'Strictly' routines of Slough, Slough, Quick, Quick Slough'.

And then to add insult to injury, Slough scored their third through Harris on 72 minutes , after the Rebel Management had spotted that the faultless Cameron Pring was out of position for once, as he was on his mobile phone begging his Bristol City Agent to bring him back from his loan deal, as the Merthyr defence were offering his fellow Englishmen too much of a 'Welcome in the Hillsides'.

Now to the uninitiated , shipping ten goals in two games makes it look like our defence is culpable but in truth defence has to start from the front and pitting a seventeen youth up against experienced Evostik centre halves with the faces of Quasimodo ( the original Full Back) and with as much mercy as Genghis Khan, then the undeveloped inexperienced youngster is what it says on his tin- Half a Mo.

Physically, he could never slay these Berkshire Giants -as St David was never likely to beat these Goliath's single handedly - not without a sling that is.

Now with Merthyr's defence tiring, the Management decided to substitute their only outlet and leading Merthyr goal scorer off the pitch.

Former Manager Graham Taylor was shouting at our Manager shaking his head in disbelief- he would never had done such a thing in a World Cup Qualifier.

Worse was to follow, as off came the rock at the back, Scott Tancock, to be replaced with the returning from injury Curtis McDonald- who jumped off his stretcher and crawled onto the pitch- hoping to shore up the Titanic defence.

Who's first action was a McDonald's drive-thru which earned him a yellow card and left Merthyr looking less 'strong and stable' than a Theresa May Government , as Merthyr went from a catatonic state to a Catalonian one inside the last 15 minutes of the match.

But still the Rebels without a pause wouldn't let up.

They sensed blood and like true Champions- elect they resurrected a comeback that even Lazarus would have been proud of.

On 89 minutes the inspirational James Dobson bunned the ball into the net for the equaliser and then repeated the feat four minutes later to send Slough into a touch line orgy of delight not seen since the after party funeral of Hugh Hefner.

The Rebel radio commentator suddenly turned Brazilian as he shouted goooooalllll to the airwaves that caused many a crash on the M25 ring road in jubilation.

When I came round from my collapse, I asked the Slough fan next to me, Dr Jekyll what had just happened but neither he nor his shadowy friend Mr Hyde could explain the transformation.

Even Atalanta veteran legend, Midfielder Andy, sat next to Jinx Thomas remarked that this team don't know when they are Beattie.

Merthyr Town had become Mirth-full Town as the Slough Fans hugged each other like
Guy Hollis had released then from the Bill Jail shouting and hollering with their Rebel Yells at their 'Idols' - whereas Merthyr fans everywhere tore up their fake season tickets in disgust.

What team leads 4-0 at half time and ends up losing the match 5-4?

Great quiz question for a future programme for our future generations to ponder.

A great game for the 'neutrals' but not for an electrocuted Dean Clarke last seen shinnying up a metal pole trying to fuse the floodlights.

If there were any losers on that pitch last night they weren't any of those magnificent players on both sides that contributed to this wonderful spectacle of entertainment.

The REAL losers were the fans who missed this cracker of a game and I am pleased but a little gutted too because like Max Boyce....I WAS THERE .

But then again I will be there whatever the result Saturday against Gosport too....and every home match after that till season end and why ?

Because I love Merthyr Town and local non-league football and hand on heart don't you?

And after that wonderful comeback display from Slough Town -a little bit of me is a rebel too.

Boz












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Re: Rebels without a Pause

Post  OWNES1 on Wed Oct 11, 2017 2:44 pm

Well said Boz and so shall I and the faithful 300 from Sparta.

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So near so Sparta

Post  Boz1964 on Wed Oct 11, 2017 2:47 pm

I am so old....I remember when Sparta was called VG....

Boz
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Re: Rebels without a Pause

Post  OWNES1 on Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:33 am

Very Good.

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VG from a PC

Post  Boz1964 on Thu Oct 12, 2017 11:36 am

'Initially' speaking I thought that one might be 'right up your street'...Ownes Money....Boz
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Re: Rebels without a Pause

Post  Nubs on Thu Oct 12, 2017 12:17 pm

'Quality' report, fair play.
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Nubbing like it

Post  Boz1964 on Thu Oct 12, 2017 1:18 pm

Good one Nubs,

Unfortunately on the field not everything is coming up 'roses'.....Boz
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Re: Rebels without a Pause

Post  Nubs on Fri Oct 13, 2017 5:30 am

Hopefully there'll be plenty of 'Celebrations' for our our 'Heroes' tomorrow afternoon.
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Chocs Away

Post  Boz1964 on Fri Oct 13, 2017 10:53 am

You win Nubs.

But I do wonder if Gavin is pondering which striker to go with in the penalty area.

A difficult 'selection box'.

Boz
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Re: Rebels without a Pause

Post  Merthyr Imp on Fri Oct 13, 2017 12:49 pm

'Black Magic'? (Is it all right to say that?)
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Sweet Nothings

Post  Boz1964 on Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:57 am

I think it is allowable but only if you post it 'after eight'.

Boz
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Re: Rebels without a Pause

Post  Nubs on Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:58 am

Let's hope that the Gosport defence 'Rolo'ver, allowing us to have the 'Lion's' share of possession and we score plenty of goals so we can 'Boost' our goal difference.
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Choc Full

Post  Boz1964 on Sat Oct 14, 2017 3:12 am

That's it Nubs....you're 'barred'.....Boz
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Re: Rebels without a Pause

Post  Nubs on Sat Oct 14, 2017 4:55 am

'Time Out'. No more chocolate puns. If I read any more I'm gonna 'Flake' out.
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Rippling Yarns

Post  Boz1964 on Sat Oct 14, 2017 5:53 am

Quite right ...otherwise there will be a 'bounty' out on your mummified head.

Boz
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Re: Rebels without a Pause

Post  GordonTheGopher on Sat Oct 14, 2017 10:56 am

Sorry Boz more chocolate puns, great Fry's five boys win.
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Re: Rebels without a Pause

Post  rustic on Sun Oct 15, 2017 6:01 am

I think you lot should return to Mars.

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Close Encounters

Post  Boz1964 on Sun Oct 15, 2017 6:49 am

Why just Mars Scamp?

There is a whole Milky Way Galaxy to choose from.

One question that has always puzzled me is why someone from Earth always wins Miss Universe?

Boz
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Re: Rebels without a Pause

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