More Rumours than Fleetwood Mac 2

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More Rumours than Fleetwood Mac 2

Post  Boz1964 on Fri Apr 28, 2017 5:09 pm

With the non-league football on the pitch over for this season, let's not turn this Forum into a 'cemetery' as has been mooted by others but keep the feel good factor at the Club flowing and the bad humour too.

Therefore, I would offer the following rumours and conspiracy theories to keep our regular Forumites busy with 'food for thought' since the 'SausagenChipsGate'' scandal that ended with an ex-Manager moving onto to 'pasta's' new.

1) Is it true that Keyon and Coppy have been signed up to appear in Pizza Hut Commercials in the Summer on Martyrs TV?

2) Is it true that our quality left back Scott Barrow has rejected the opportunity to play football in Ireland by signing a Hollywood contract as stunt double for Brad Pitt in a new film called
'Angie- those kids don't look like me'

3) Is it true that Jarrad Wright ( the new Yosser Hughes) has been offered a Summer job heading portholes in the side of cruise ships in Swansea Docks to ensure he breaks goalkeepers hands next season?

4) Is it true that specialist back Doctor, Dr Ruth has identified the 'root' cause of Ryan Prosser's back trouble- a three stone fungus that has attached itself 'Alien'- style to his chin?

5) Is it true that Der Management are looking to replace Hereford 'Mole' Clarkie with a new Assistant Manager from Liverpool FC , Jurgen's younger brother Klipperty, as they want someone with more Herr?

6) Is it true that the real reason the legendary Imp is retiring from programme editing is that he has found a way -Mickey Thomas style- of making money for the Club from his own Sincil Bank?

7) Is it true that the Board have sold a quantity of unidentified bricks to President Trump so he can make a start on the promised Mexican Wall in exchange for an electrified fence and a speaker system that works?

Cool Is it true that it wasn't the hand of Hitchin Keeper 'Magic' Johnson that stopped the bullet header of Jarrad Wright in the last minute of extra time but the 'Hand of God' complaining that we had lopped his trees behind the David Miles Stand and that all the Hitchen Strikers First Half were hitting his Park Chapel stained glass windows?

9) Is it true that SuperGavin Williams is to be offered an executive toy next year to reduce touch line stress with no strings attached to prevent us becoming a Yeo-Yeo Club?

And finally Esther.....


10) Is the real reason we didn't get promoted like Plymouth Argyle this year was because Kitman Barry Thomas and the Old Sod had been nominated to elevate Derek to crowd surfing status after the game?

Answers on a postcard please


Boz

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Re: More Rumours than Fleetwood Mac 2

Post  douggolfer on Sat Apr 29, 2017 1:34 am

Sounds like it's been a long season Boz, time to have your long awaited hol,they tell me Bridgend is lovely this time of the year.
Have a good brake mate c u in the stands next season. As usual proper good stuff

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Post  Boz1964 on Sat Apr 29, 2017 2:44 am

Thank you Doug,

If you think this humour is mad ( and it is) wait until the free event of Bozanory has a sanctioned date.

Hopefully, the comedy would make even Jack Dee or Madge Alsop smile.

Boz


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