Yeas and Heading

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Yeas and Heading

Post  Boz1964 on Sat Apr 22, 2017 5:34 pm

Yea's and Heading.

Well it was unmissable wasn't it?-the last scheduled game of the season with Merthyr at Home to North London side Hayes & Yeading.

As I drove home like a 'rocket'  from the Crucible in Sheffield, after watching snooker champion Ronnie O'Sullivan demolish Irishman Shaun Murphy, the traffic camera on the M1 clocked my own maximum...147...which was still 3 short of Corey Jenkins top speed.

With less than a hour before kick-off would I make it in time?

No...not for the football ....but for the happy hour and 50p off the beer at Webleys.

After watching a disjointed first half, I decided to take a leaf out of the book of the pop band the Housemartins and repeat the experience but this time in Romans.

And then came the miss of the season.

No - not the free scoring Prosser's shot that went royally wide against Kings Lynn in January or Traylor's miss kick for an equaliser against Frome Town in the Bleak Mid Winter, (when we lost our only Home Match of the season and left me Fromeing at the Mouth- ) but my miss
'over the bar' just after half-time, when returning to a roar from the crowd signalled that Merthyr had just scored and I had missed the goal to the delight of the 50 or so Cheshire Cats grinning back at me from the stand gleefully.

'Who scored?'....I asked full pint in hand hoping to find out which local hero did I owe a worship too.

The replies ranged from Oliver Davies to Ronaldo, Lionel Messi and even Prince Harry.

Now Hayes & Yeading may have been relegated from this league, but they certainly weren't the worst footballing side to visit the 'Lok' this season.

Unlike St Ives or last week's opponents Redditch United, the London Boys came to entertain and their skilled winger the pint-size Kabba looked lively in the early stages but realised soon enough that like every other opposition player this season, he would not get behind Adam Davies.

Let's be honest not even his own shadow gets behind him, which leads me to suspect he may have returned from his brief spell at Hereford not only as a better player but also one of the undead.

Now the motto of the Peckham Trotters is 'He who dares win' and in fairness to the boys from the Smoke, they gave it their best shot- yes they were playing with the freedom that the season long threat of relegation brings with it and in front of less fans than a Bozanory book launch at Hayes on Why Festival - but more importantly they gave it a go.

In fact at one stage, they had us 'floored' like Caerphilly match sponsor TPS 360 Ltd, as they came at us from all directions on the perfect 3G surface, as they hit a 'purple patch' midway through the first half, which 'resinated' on the elevated major 'Pricey' balcony overlooking the pitch.

It was Purple Hayes - all along the watchtower.

Up front, SuperGav and Clarkie had gone for the untried Old Testament combination of Brothers Kayne & a Bull in order to give the Prossiah's beard three days resurrection time before the likely Pray-Off Semi-Final.

Unfortunately, Kayno seemed to be 'crying in the wilderness' of the right wing and his round shouldered demeanour and body language gave the false impression that he wasn't interested in the game.

It was almost like he felt that his 'birthright' as central striker had been stolen from him.

After the first goal was scored by Ollie Davies/Ronaldo/Harris or Prince Harry (take your pick I still don't bloody know who it was) he ventured further left and his combination with arsonist-target man Keyon Refell - the new Bale- proved the 'last straw' for Hayes.

Refell has been most productive both on and off the pitch this season, blowing hot or cold as directed by his Stage Management.

It was inevitable then that the Away Goalkeeper Boness couldn't stop 'Daddy Cool' from supplying goal machine McLaggon with yet another double on the pitch (to add to that of course of Andy Cole).

The exploits of this pair will go down in legend and of course song too.

Apparently, a tribute band- the Kings of Keyon - are penning a song 'This Sex is on Fire' and will be performing at the Cans Festival in the Park View over the Summer.

You can just hear the strains now of 'Keyon's on Fire' being sung along by the Jukebox Jury.

But not all the magic today came from the feet of our forward line.

There was also magic afoot from the newly peroxide Eliot Richards.

Or as stadium announcer, Van Halen called him over the tannoy - number 8 for Merthyr - Dan Petrescu ( perhaps it was a Freudian slip in the hope he will Romania next season).

Now, it was a clever ploy by Eliot to get on the right side of a Witney Oxford referee, who looked like Voldemort by disguising himself as Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter series.

He scored our second ( which I saw) after some neat interplay and a close range shot which flew passed their quidditch 'sweeper' and keeper for an unassailable two-nil lead.

Now is it possible for lightening to strike twice in one game ?

and the answer to that is simply yes.

It is a true footballing fact that my bladder is most vulnerable when we have just scored a goal, so safe in that knowledge I dashed to the toilet ( as I had heard they were running out of beer in the Club) to assist with some recycling.

Only to hear another roar from the crowd which led me to believe that we must have scored again or that Captain Marble had tackled another lion in the gladiatorial arena of Romans.

Thank God I didn't need a dump otherwise,  I think Kaynomite might have had a shat-trick.

Anyway with all the 'Yeas' crowing around the ground....I had to face even more happy campers on my return than an Alan Carr audience- who were even more pleased than before.

Meanwhile on the pitch, last minute replacement Kyle Patton was busy repelling the ammunition from their red hot winger Kabba  and his 'Charing Crosses' with his Cwmtaf Swede.

He was Heading away from Yeading like a plane from Heathrow Airport.

He deserves a box of Anadin and a Patton the head from his management, as he put in a
man of the match performance for me as a last minute replacement for the injured Scott Tancock.

He did so with great aplomb and he even managed it without ruffling his hair either...remarkable.

We must get Brylcreem to Sponsor his shirt next year or even open up a new line for Old Sod of hair sponsors.

With poor Tancock taking one for the team last week at Redditch, I was promptly shown the bruising on his ankle that kept him out of the team today.

It looked like a blue and white map of Scotland but Tancfully there are no broken bones.

Let's hope 'Bravefoot' can return for the 'freedom' of the Park for the Final- as he looked more gutted than former fans favourite,  Tubbs returning from close season.

The game ended 4-0 and a comfortable win in the end for Merthyr rewarded by a home tie against Hitchin.

Let's hope we get a strong referee that doesn't fall for the deplorable gamesmanship of the Hitchin midfielder - Hateful8-

If not then Wednesday night might end in a Poole of Blood.

If you listened carefully to the Home Dressing room at the end of the game , you could hear someone busy sharpening their studs ready for Wednesday night.

It is called Preparation H - ready for a real pain in the arse.


Last edited by Boz1964 on Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:51 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Typo - new Anthem at the Park)

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Re: Yeas and Heading

Post  OWNES1 on Sun Apr 23, 2017 3:44 am

Like what you did with the titles.This weeks announcement by May and Merthyr in the play offs.


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The Ayes are going a bit

Post  Boz1964 on Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:59 am

Morning Ownes, are you ready for the word of the day?

It was a Malapropism (albeit this was deliberate).

In honour of our 'Rivals'.



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Re: Yeas and Heading

Post  Old Sod on Sun Apr 23, 2017 2:28 pm

Boz1964 wrote:Morning Ownes, are you ready for the word of the day?

It was a Malapropism (albeit this was deliberate).

In honour of our 'Rivals'.


She of the gamp fame?
Old Sod

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Re: Yeas and Heading

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