Simply Redditch

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Simply Redditch

Post  Boz1964 on Tue Jan 31, 2017 5:11 pm

Simply Redditch

Before tonight, I thought Redditch was a complaint you took to a certain Pontypridd Clinic but it turns out to be a New Town just South of England's second city.

I didn't expect much of a football pedigree from a Town that is most famous for roundabouts, its contribution to British pop music and of course John Taylor, the shortsighted guitarist from Duran Duran.

I was right too.

On a night when the only real winner were those with shares in Dwr Cymru, Redditch came to the LoadLok with ' A View to a Kill' - looking to be the first team in our league to take our unbeaten Home record.

Their Manager, Darren Byfield, a former Jamaican International and Aston Villa player, was in charge of his simply red 'stars' , charged with raising his team from mid-table mediocrity towards late 'Bolt' for a play-off position.

But it was the Merthyr back line that were 'holding back the ears', as they used every trick in the book to wrestle by fair means and foul, and blunt the Redditch attack.

Our defensive back four have Post-Christmas, become more meaner than Ebenezer Scrooge's sphincter and uglier than the crowd at an all women's rugby match.

Redditch's best player on the night, was their 10 called Eli Bako.

Like Scrooge's former business partner, Marley, he was kept shackled at all times by the impressive Scott Tancock and that solid chunk of ebony, out of which is carved Curtis McDonald.

McDonald chewed up and then spat out the Bako.

It was no surprise then that it was McDonald himself that scored the first goal - as his physical presence and determination was second to none.

It came from a corner, with their keeper Catlow 'behaving Bradley' and making a real 'meal' of the cross.

The ball bobbled about a bit before the Welsh version of cultured England Defender Ferdinand, used his astonishing 'Reflex' to bundle the ball home to chants from the Bennettorial Army choir of 'His name is Rio and he dances on keeper's hands'.

Poor 'Darren, Darren' had his head in his hands in the stands, as he certainly wasn't by field at that point.

His 'dread' fear of conceding so early in the match meant that his Midlanders had an uphill battle in the pouring rain.

In Jamaican tennis terms it was 'One Love' to the Welshmen and a change in tactics was needed.

On the pitch, his personnel included more Jordan's than the lockers of the Chicago Bulls basketball team - in Jordan Jones, Jordan Brown, Jordan Cullinane-Liburd and KT Price.

He also had Ahmed Ali in the middle of the park, although he wasn't quite 'the greatest'.

Under the spotlight of sponsors 'Nite Lite' security, he floated like a butterfly but stung like a moth.

But in fairness to the Suburban Brummies, they could reshuffle their pack all they wanted but were up against a well drilled Merthyr Team that is coached by a Hereford Dean Machine, who demands more clean sheets than the quality controller at a Persil factory which defends from the front too.

And in attack in the shape of Keyon Refell, Corey Jenkins and Ian Traylor- our fans Jimmy & Cliff would confirm that we have 'Many Wingers to Cross' too.

With Redditch trying to chase the game, Merthyr doubled their lead with a sublime free-kick from 'Masterblaster' Barrow, which was lofted over the defensive wall and beyond the grasp of the despairing Catlow.

With a halftime 'Mario' scoreline of 2-0, there was no chance of a comeback from the crying
Darren, Darren, who had simply turned into a 'Wailer'.

The second half started much the same as the first, with Tancock blocking and squeezing out any danger in the penalty box.

So much so, he prevented any would be Little Englander from entering his zone of the pitch, declaring this area to be a truly independent Scott Land.

Redditch, huffed and puffed and tried to use the leniency of the lamb-chop endowed referee by pinching a 'yardie' or two from the throw ins to gain an advantage.

Many of our crowd would have politely enquired 'who is that Pratt from Birmingham wearing second hand sideburns like Gaz from Supergrass' and today they would have been completely correct too.

The Redditch players looked like they would rather have been anywhere else tonight than playing football in a miserable cold, wet, Welsh Valley Town and who
could blame them too, with Captain Marble patrolling the deep end of the pitch like a hungry great white shark.

He was partnered too by Eliott Richards, who has found his niche role in our all- conquering team by being the player who regains possession for the Mighty Martyrs.

Tonight, he nicked more balls than a short-sighted Jewish circumciser.

With a solid keeper, a mean defence, a creative midfield and goals from all areas of the pitch, Merthyr seems to be firing on all cylinders.

So as Merthyr cruised to a comfortable Home Win aided by the 'Cool Runnings' of Corey Jenkins and Co tonight, Town climb further up the Evo-Stik Southern Premier.

It was bye-bye to Byfield's Redditch Faces with Merthyr simply 'Bostin' a gut for top spot.

Dorchester next....lets hope they are as accommodating as tonight's opponents.

Boz







Simply Redditch

Before tonight, I thought Redditch was a complaint you took to a certain Pontypridd Clinic but it turns out to be a New Town just South of England's second city.

I didn't expect much of a football pedigree from a Town that is most famous for roundabouts, its contribution to British pop music and of course John Taylor, the shortsighted guitarist from Duran Duran.

I was right too.

On a night when the only real winner were those with shares in Dwr Cymru, Redditch came to the LoadLok with ' A View to a Kill' - looking to be the first team in our league to take our unbeaten Home record.

Their Manager, Darren Byfield, a former Jamaican International and Aston Villa player, was in charge of his simply red 'stars' , charged with raising his team from mid-table mediocrity towards late 'Bolt' for a play-off position.

But it was the Merthyr back line that were 'holding back the ears', as they used every trick in the book to wrestle by fair means and foul, and blunt the Redditch attack.

Our defensive back four have Post-Christmas, become more meaner than Ebenezer Scrooge's sphincter and uglier than the crowd at an all women's rugby match.

Redditch's best player on the night, was their 10 called Eli Bako.

Like Scrooge's former business partner, Marley, he was kept shackled at all times by the impressive Scott Tancock and that solid chunk of ebony, out of which is carved Curtis McDonald.

McDonald chewed up and then spat out the Bako.

It was no surprise then that it was McDonald himself that scored the first goal - as his physical presence and determination was second to none.

It came from a corner, with their keeper Catlow 'behaving Bradley' and making a real 'meal' of the cross.

The ball bobbled about a bit before the Welsh version of cultured England Defender Ferdinand, used his astonishing 'Reflex' to bundle the ball home to chants from the Bennettorial Army choir of 'His name is Rio and he dances on keeper's hands'.

Poor 'Darren, Darren' had his head in his hands in the stands, as he certainly wasn't by field at that point.

His 'dread' fear of conceding so early in the match meant that his Midlanders had an uphill battle in the pouring rain.

In Jamaican tennis terms it was 'One Love' to the Welshmen and a change in tactics was needed.

On the pitch, his personnel included more Jordan's than the lockers of the Chicago Bulls basketball team - in Jordan Jones, Jordan Brown, Jordan Cullinane-Liburd and KT Price.

He also had Ahmed Ali in the middle of the park, although he wasn't quite 'the greatest'.

Under the spotlight of sponsors 'Nite Lite' security, he floated like a butterfly but stung like a moth.

But in fairness to the Suburban Brummies, they could reshuffle their pack all they wanted but were up against a well drilled Merthyr Team that is coached by a Hereford Dean Machine, who demands more clean sheets than the quality controller at a Persil factory which defends from the front too.

And in attack in the shape of Keyon Refell, Corey Jenkins and Ian Traylor- our fans Jimmy & Cliff would confirm that we have 'Many Wingers to Cross' too.

With Redditch trying to chase the game, Merthyr doubled their lead with a sublime free-kick from 'Masterblaster' Barrow, which was lofted over the defensive wall and beyond the grasp of the despairing Catlow.

With a halftime 'Mario' scoreline of 2-0, there was no chance of a comeback from the crying
Darren, Darren, who had simply turned into a 'Wailer'.

The second half started much the same as the first, with Tancock blocking and squeezing out any danger in the penalty box.

So much so, he prevented any would be Little Englander from entering his zone of the pitch, declaring this area to be a truly independent Scott Land.

Redditch, huffed and puffed and tried to use the leniency of the lamb-chop endowed referee by pinching a 'yardie' or two from the throw ins to gain an advantage.

Many of our crowd would have politely enquired 'who is that Pratt from Birmingham wearing second hand sideburns like Gaz from Supergrass' and today they would have been completely correct too.

The Redditch players looked like they would rather have been anywhere else tonight than playing football in a miserable cold, wet, Welsh Valley Town and who
could blame them too, with Captain Marble patrolling the deep end of the pitch like a hungry great white shark.

He was partnered too by Eliott Richards, who has found his niche role in our all- conquering team by being the player who regains possession for the Mighty Martyrs.

Tonight, he nicked more balls than a short-sighted Jewish circumciser.

With a solid keeper, a mean defence, a creative midfield and goals from all areas of the pitch, Merthyr seems to be firing on all cylinders.

So as Merthyr cruised to a comfortable Home Win aided by the 'Cool Runnings' of Corey Jenkins and Co tonight, Town climb further up the Evo-Stik Southern Premier.

It was bye-bye to Byfield's Redditch Faces with Merthyr simply 'Bostin' a gut for top spot.

Dorchester next....lets hope they are as accommodating as tonight's opponents.

Boz




























































avatar
Boz1964

Posts : 1831
Join date : 2012-10-08

Back to top Go down

Re: Simply Redditch

Post  GordonTheGopher on Wed Feb 01, 2017 2:02 am

Boz, so good you post it twice. Smile
avatar
GordonTheGopher

Posts : 801
Join date : 2011-01-03
Age : 63
Location : Abergavenny

Back to top Go down

Re: Simply Redditch

Post  douggolfer on Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:17 pm

Boz you trying out for the chairman's job ???

douggolfer

Posts : 498
Join date : 2013-12-13

Back to top Go down

Hitting the Post twice

Post  Boz1964 on Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:22 pm

Thank you Gord.

You can assume one of the following:-

1) It was Happy Hour ( Two posts for the price of one).
2) My computer has a virus called 'Meurigitis'.
3) I was wrecked after work then watching the Martyrs.

You choose.

Sleep

Boz
avatar
Boz1964

Posts : 1831
Join date : 2012-10-08

Back to top Go down

Great Minds think alike

Post  Boz1964 on Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:30 pm

Nice one Doug.

Those are big shoes (and an ever bigger blazer) to fill.

I think I was watching BBC 1 and must have been influenced by all the repeats...

Boz Boz.
avatar
Boz1964

Posts : 1831
Join date : 2012-10-08

Back to top Go down

Re: Simply Redditch

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum