Testing the Brakes

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Testing the Brakes

Post  Boz1964 on Tue Nov 22, 2016 5:15 pm

Testing the Brakes

On a cold Tuesday Night, it was the turn of the League Leaders Leamington to visit the Valleys and receive our famous welcome in the hillsides.

Now unlike the Brexit Team, the League table doesn't lie and as both teams are on a good run of results at the moment the match was down as a certain score draw on Bet Caple.

Regrettably, due to the suspension of Ashley Evans and the total recall of the Ginger Terminator  by Crawley, Merthyr had a massive Trecatti- sized hole to fill in the midfield.

After a swift pre- match phone call from President Elect Donald Trump, SuperGavin Williams declined his offer of Nigel Farage on loan for the extreme Right Wing preferring instead to push the versatile Jarrad Wright to fill in at the engine room.

It paid dividends too, as it freed up Ian Traylor from his past defensive responsibilities and it was his speed and creativity that lead to Merthyr's opener on around 5 minutes.

Despite the fact he had been clattered by a Leamington player during the opening exchanges, his sublime flick of his remaining un-bloodied foot set up the free-running Refell, who crossed from the touch line for the Bearded Wonder to side-foot the ball into the net for 1-0.

Sadly, it proved to be the only move of any quality from the Home Side for the rest of the game.

No sooner than Merthyr had taken the lead but the Brakes decided to put their foot on the accelerator and for the next twenty minutes or so had the majority share of possession as their attack force showed a lovely turn of speed,as they began stroking the ball around comfortably and did some lovely side flicks that created confusion in our restructured defence.

With the returning Baggridge being paired with McDonald in the centre and with Tancs and Barrow making up a flat back four, Merthyr defended resolutely, until Leamington produced their own moment of quality, when a fine cross from the left byline was headed home by an Away defender with some aplomb.

His name was Pond and he was not shaken or stirred, when his bullet header hit the back of the Merthyr net with Garner left more exposed than an Inuit snowman's carrot.

That 'spa-rked' a right Royal celebration from the Leamington fans, who were sporting an Emirates sized flag which was waved about in triumph.

That goal seemed to settle the Away Fans early nerves, who had been cooped up on their coach from Warwickshire, drinking Guinness cans and eating beans, as the heavy flag seemed to be blowing as if driven by a braking windmill.

The equaliser seemed to cheer up the young linesman too, as he stopped mid- conversation with Paddy Kirk from Emmerdale on the sidelines.

I can only assume they are now also friends on both Facebook and Twitter too.

The Halftime came with the score a very predictable 1-1 and with Leamington perhaps just shading it.

To me there was no outstanding individual but they were playing for each other as a team.

Team Emmerdale that is.

The second half saw a stalemate contest, where both sides cancelled each other out and neither Pepe Reina in the 'Spa-nish' goal or Glyn Garner troubled by shot or header.

At the back for Town, Curtis McDonald was like Uncle G-g-granville's aftershave -he repelled everything that came close.

It must have been a frustrating night for Captain Marble too, who having been sent off late on against Slough, had to suffer the second of his third game suspension and had to make do in the stand chewing on a bowl of ankles and shinbones left over from an episode of CSI Swansea Road.

Late on, the Prossiah was replaced by Corey Jenkins and as the Viking striker trudged off the field to rapturous applause from the Home Fans , he looked more exhausted than a concert- cancelling Kayne West but with 99% less ego.

Late on the Birmingham Referee decided that he better add to his autograph collection and booked Ian Traylor for a non- event  slide tackle  but then quite why he asked him to sign his tee-shirt was beyond me.

I can only surmise that he realised what a Local Hero he is to us Taffies...

The last few minutes were played out by Leamington trying to sneak an undeserved winner with their number 6 running around our penalty area and bumping into our defenders, as if he was suffering from a case of St Vitus Dance.

Either that or the aptly named Mace had been sprayed by his own product or he had caught a whiff of the afore- mentioned Christmas aftershave used to entice women on Tinsel n Torquay weekends.

In the closing moments, poor old Barrow took a flying elbow for his troubles near the sideline and whilst the blindsman on the near side who was inches away did an Arsene Wenger, Mr & Mrs Bonnie and Clyde Barrow did not and did what any supportive Mother would do and berated the culprit as he skulked down the tunnel to the changing rooms.

It was a good job it wasn't raining today is all I can say.

A decent draw against a solid looking but unspectacular Leamington side- which lacked the individual quality of league rivals Slough Town.

It was a crying shame we were missing the Gigantic Ginger or Captain Cannibal, as we lacked that bite in midfield but the draw extends the unbeaten home run and confidence of our players as a yardstick of our improvement.

Our on-field chemistry isn't quite right but we certainly weren't Braking Bad.

Mac of the Match for me was Curtis McDonald, although as ever Traylor shone like the star he is.

A good test of the Brakes, even if we did stop short of a victory and the draw game will suit them more than us.

With another point added to our play-off ambition total coupled with the news that Merthyr B had just beaten Chippenham 3-2,  I smiled all the way home.


Last edited by Boz1964 on Tue Nov 22, 2016 5:27 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Typos)

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