The Lord of the KetteRINGS

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The Lord of the KetteRINGS

Post  Boz1964 on Tue Nov 01, 2016 5:31 pm

The Lord of the KetteRINGS

Tonight,  there was a right royal battle for Middle Earth, at the centre of the Penydarren Park Football pitch.

As Merthyr Town took on a visiting team from the 'Shire' of Northampton.

Last season, Sideshow Bob and Co managed to escape from the Principality with a well deserved point , but tonight on All Saints Day they weren't able to add to the second part of their trilogy.

Chief protagonists being Saint Gordon Awty and Saint 'Tiger' Tancs.

There was certain no armistice between the Poppies and the Martyrs, as neither side took any prisoners, as the Town famous for being the centre of the shoe industry displayed their wares by putting the boot in on every occasion.

Now Merthyr do have a bite to their game in midfield which has been strengthened by the arrival of the ginger giant Saint Josh Yorwerth.

So much so he frightened the away side - as I am sure I heard their manager Marcus Law complain to the nearside linesman that it wasn't fair - as we had 'a cave troll'.

Up front it was great to see the Prossiah back in the starting line- up .

The much lauded 'Return of the King (of Judea) ' however, was to prove somewhat of a 'damp squib' in Bonfire week, as the 'Guy' didn't look fully fit or his normal 'explosive' self- even if he nearly did add Merthyr's second.

'Old Tree Beard' didn't have it all his own way up against the 'Two Towers' of Kettering, in the shape of James Haran and Ben Bradshaw.

In addition, they may not be the biggest players in terms of stature, but our two Hobbits in the form of Saint Ashley Evans and Saint Ben Watkins certainly have what it takes to Lord it on the pitch.

Despite being too of the shortest players on the pitch, they certain won their fair share of headers against much taller N-ORC- Hampton players and left them with a real 'Sting'.

The away side came to play football and in fairness up until the final third they played some scintillating football, whilst not really troubling Saint Glyn Garner in goal with too many on target shots.

The reason was the attitude of our blossoming centre half pairing of Saint Jarrad Wright & Saint Curtis McDonald.

They adopted the motto 'they shall not pass' and combined with the unmoving Tanc and AbergaBENNY Watkins they looked more stable than the YMCA building on Pontmorlais.

Once again our first goal came from the right hand flank, after a brilliant delivery from young Watkins who 'Benned' the ball around the Kettering pillbox only to find the quick feet of Saint Ian Traylor who picked his spot for the opening goal.

He really is developing a good 'hobbit' of hitting the target with great regularity this season.

If he continues in this 'precious' vane of form - we will have to rename him 'Goalum'.

It was very apt that today's match sponsors were a trade union as in the centre of the park, the Kettering side were kicking lumps of Yorwerth with the Bishops Cleeve referee finally awarding one decision in his favour with 75 minutes on the clock.

It was a case of the Poppies leaving their calling cards on our combative red haired
Maxi Alan Ball by playing knock- knock Ginger on his shins.

In one instance, he was penalised for trying to crowd surf on the back of their number 9.

Please explain on a postcard referee , how you can possibly foul with your back?

Kettering tried hard to get the equaliser and had Merthyr penned in as the war of attrition became entrenched.

However, they just couldn't land that killer blow or last ball to level the match.

From the sideline, GAVdolph the wizard together with his trusty staff , directed the tactics and the game management of Saint Kaynomite and Saint Refell ensured that the home side would get the three points we deserved for this Oscar- winning performance.

He didn't even need to use substitutes Simon Templar or the Appleton Sisters -as having played at top level of football he certainly knows what he is 'Tolkien' about.

The closing credits went to Saint Josh Yorwerth, who get his second goal for the club when he gave keeper Dean Snedker no chance from point blank range.

Another great win against a decent Kettering side who have a good away record this season.

With all the circular stud marks on those Northampton ankles tomorrow morning caused by Captain Marble - he was definitely tonight The Lord of the Ketterings.


Last edited by Boz1964 on Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:43 am; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : More typos and the order from Gord above)

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Re: The Lord of the KetteRINGS

Post  GordonTheGopher on Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:21 am

Saint Ashley Morris! was it not Saint Garner in goal. Much to late at night to post Boz. GO TO SLEEP. Laughing

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Thy Will shall be done

Post  Boz1964 on Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:46 am

Quite Right Gord.

Old age doesn't come by itself.

I suppose at that time of night you are lucky it wasn't Laura Ashley....a design error....Boz

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