A Good Day at 'the Office'

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A Good Day at 'the Office'

Post  Boz1964 on Sat Oct 15, 2016 11:55 am

A good day at 'The Office'

Ricky Gervais character David Brent would have been proud of the BAFTA performance from his Slough Town today, after his 'Rebel' army gained a hard fought draw at the Loadlok Stadium , Penydarren Park in Merthyr Tydfil this afternoon.

The Berkshire outfit looked anything but 'stationary' as their movement and rigidity was there for all to see.

The League table doesn't lie, as the men from Royal Berkshire head home away from the worst of the Welsh weather and can like their Royal Family in Windsor, look down their noses on the rest of the Evo-Stik Premiership from the top of the table.

Now if you want to win this league , you need to pick up points at the far flung corners  of the Empire, at places like Merthyr and Kings Lynn and today this experienced Slough side looked more than capable of getting a result in what was a decent game of football played in poor weather conditions.

In the first half, Merthyr Town shaped up with probably the best side they could put out against a team that had won nine games on the bounce and decided to take up a John Betjeman tactic and let 'friendly bombs fall on Slough' by playing an aerial warfare game with full back Scott Tancock sending 'Hilda Ogden' curlers forward at every opportunity for the pace of wingers Traylor and Refell to run onto.

At every opportunity they tested the two Slough vet central defensive conjoined pairing of Hollis and Nesbit -or to give them their alternative 'Lofting' names of Pushmi & Pullyu.

Doolittle they did not, as they 'marked' poor McGlaggon out of the game by means both fair and foul, with the M4 hitch-hiking referee offering little protection for the number 9.

He had his hands pinned behind his back more than Christian Grey, as he and his linesman went all 'Arsene Wenger' pretending they hadn't seen anything.

There was one slide tackle in the first half by a Slough player that had more follow through than a vindaloo curry and should have seen yellow too.

Whilst the friendly bombs continued to fall on Slough so did the persistent rain too, which made the all- weather pitch slippery and very fast indeed.

The first real chance of a goal came when Merthyr conceded a free kick with around 20 minutes on the clock and the Slough Fan in front of me, with more nasal hair than the escaped London gorilla, predicted that their number 7 would score from the free-kick.

Nostril-Damus was correct, when midfielder 'Dobson's choice' sent a beautifully executed free kick high into the top right hand corner of the net.

It was a-Mars-ing.

If only Glyn 'Garnier' wasn't shampooing his hair in the downpour then he might have got more than a hand to it.

Anyway on the balance of play, I told ole hairy septum that 'you're worth it' - the lead that is.

The goal seemed to galvanise the away side, whose confidence was riding high already and only the outstretched hand and 'conditioning' of Garnier kept the ball out after a defensive slip by the home side.

After that first goal , he was 'head and shoulders' above the rest when it came to his positioning and that particular save to prevent Slough going two-up seemed to be the turning point in the game.

Merthyr weren't being outclassed and once Curtis McDonald had got over his early nerves and the McFlurry of balls into the box which went over the Moone, Town regrouped and came again at the League Leaders.

At the back, Jarrad Wright looked assured in his best position at centre half and less taxed than Slough resident Jimmy Carr.

In that all that rain, on a non-3G pitch the game would have ended prematurely in a 'Slough of Despair' but thankfully, there was no quagmire with the football from both sides, as free flowing as the drainage system.

The Slough defence was coping well in the air with the Merthyr attack, until that is a great wide ball from the left flank found its way to the head of Josh Yorwerth, who proved he is no
Slough-che in the air either, as he slammed the ball passed keeper Scott for the equaliser.

He must be the find of the season so far - and I am not Joshing either- as he has played two games so far and been outstanding in both.

I hope Hereford don't get to hear of him.

Slough suddenly looked rattled - conceding a goal wasn't in their pre- match game plan - and there were a few 'Rebel yells' at their 'Idols'.

More, more, more - demanded the travelling fans, who have been spoilt by the quality of their team performances so far this season.

With the scores level at half time, SuperGav and Clarkie decided they would change tactics and use our pacy wingers to unsettle the bunch of Berks.

Having recently had his hamstrings shortened, on came Grand National favourite Corey Jenkins to try and 'speed the Slough'.

They also brought on the 'Holy Beard' to a loud cheer from the a Home crowd especially one Cynon Valley fan who had eagerly been lauding the return of the Prossiah with a
'Sermon from the Mountain Ash'.

Merthyr with classy Barrowman dancing down the wing threatened to snatch all three points as they upped the ante but Slough held firm despite a late effort from the usual accurate boot of Ian Traylor.

The Supermarionette animated manager of Slough will be delighted to have escaped from Wales with a point feeling this weekend, just like striker Ched Evans, that he had used his get out of 'Premier' jail free card for the season.

In the end, a fair result and a decent performance that both sides can be proud of.

As Ricky Gervais' co- writer would say- it was certainly of  'Merchantable' quality.

With man of the match today for me being Captain Marble Ashley Evans ( sporting his new HMP haircut) who was the footballing equivalent of Imodium blocking everything Slough threw at us.

A great yardstick and must fill the squad with hope of a top five finish this season on the back of this performance and result.


Last edited by Boz1964 on Sun Oct 16, 2016 1:30 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Typos)

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Re: A Good Day at 'the Office'

Post  Solihull Martyr on Sat Oct 15, 2016 12:16 pm

Sounds like a nice day for a white wedding!!
Solihull Martyr

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