A Game of One Half

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A Game of One Half

Post  Boz1964 on Tue Sep 13, 2016 4:08 pm

A game of one half.

Well - the match tonight between Merthyr and Stratford ended just like my honeymoon night 28 years ago - very prematurely.

Abandoned at halftime due to floodlight failure.

The bar rumour mill started in earnest - with suggestions aplenty as to the cause.

Was it an overload at the Load Lok?

Or the result of collusion between Jon Caple and a Malaysian betting syndicate?

Was it a repeat of history and the 'dark ages' of Holloway returning or just had Dan Summerfield's supportive Father found a skeleton key to the Merthyr fuse box?

Had the extortionate cost of electricity from foreign utility companies made Lord Alfred Tennyson's 'charge of the light brigade' seem sensible?

Perhaps it was the onset of incoming Socialist Jeremy Corbyn's 'new Winter of Discontent?.

Or given the 'ghost issue' of the Lincoln Imp programme....was it down to supernatural means?

Is the spirit of Tydfil the Martyr complaining beyond the grave at her 'Wella-fication?

Broken down bus and now floodlight issues.

Spooky indeed.

Well before Penydarren Park was filled with more cigarette lighters than a Roxette Rock concert, the match between a youthful, vibrant Stratford team and a more experienced Home side was lit up by the energy of two teams who were intent on going forward.

With the return of the 'Prodigal' Dan from his studies in England's second city - a warm welcome was assured for one of South Wales finest defensive prospects.

Despite playing out of position on the left flank, he was drafted in to double up on the Merthyr danger man Ian Traylor.

Using his vision and Innate defensive positioning, he got blocks in from slide rule passes behind the Stratford defence from the likes of Captain Marble and his midfield ally Elliott Scotcher.

Up front, Stratford had a striker whose hair looked like he had fallen into a vat of Birds Custard.

In midfield, their 7 had enough trickery and skill to keep our defence on their toes.

At the back, their defence was ruthless and dished out punishment with their strong tackling particularly to Kaynomite - our Hattrick hero of Hayes.

One such tackle by their right back, nearly made him eligible for selection for the Paralympics in Rio.

They way he bounced back from that- leads me to believe his legs must be made from Lego.

As the half progressed, the initial youthful zest of the near Brummies was lost, as Merthyr started to dominate possession.

Full backs Barrow and Davies made inroads reaching the edge of the box with continued regularly squeezing the Stratfordarians 'players' back onto an ever decreasing stage.

It seemed only a matter of time before the Home side took the lead but some great last ditch defending from the cast of Summerfield and Co fought resolutely to contain the Martyrs as they like our floodlights 'surged' forward at every opportunity.

But the quality of the movement of Traylor and the passing from our midfield pair would not be denied.

One 'golf' shot from Scotcher which spun along the near touch line gave our Wing Wizard a narrow corridor to work in, but Traylor doesn't need a second invitation to set off on a gallop towards the opposition box and he put in an inch perfect cross for the inform McGlaggon to bury into the net a volley which Kung Fu Panda would have been proud of.

It came just before the 40 minute mark and was just desserts for the Merthyr pressure and possession had exerted.

With the game delicately poised, like a barefooted ballerina standing on a razor blade, the referee blew for half-time.

One wonders if the whistle blast was so shrill - was he in fact the cause of the floodlight failure?

After all - us football fans blamed him for everything else on the pitch- including him missing one scything tackle on McGlaggon that the Grim Reaper would have been proud of.

As I nipped in to get two pints ready for the second half-(purely medicinal of course - I didn't want just ONE half!)- so I would not miss any of the action- I was shocked to see that only half of the pitch was illuminated.

My first thought was that the North Korean's were nuclear testing again but then suddenly realised it was much more serious a threat than that.

I might not get to see a second half of the football.

I looked around me to see if the majority of the fans were still there.

I was surprised to see I was surrounded by Darth Vader & a number of his storm troopers.

Evidently they had come over to the dark side.

It was a shame really that the game could not be restarted, as our 'Star Wars' defence of Rhys Baggridge and the new Curtis McDonald had up until then had a 'Happy Hour' without too much wasted energy being expelled.

With the Tackle of the game coming from Baggridge near the edge of his own box, which had more venom than Steve Irwin's autopsy.

Shame all round for both the Clubs, their players and fans alike.

But one positive to come out of the enforced abandonment.

At least the people of Stratford know we DO really have electricity in the valleys....if not ALL the time...and besides that we get to see a replay of events- so hold onto your ticket stub.

As I left the ground lit by the luminosity of SuperFan Nigel's white beard I had the distinct feeling I and many others will be back soon.

Funny how the floodlights never fail on daytime Saturday games for 3pm kick offs?.

Perhaps someone on our Forum can explain this other supernatural occurrence?



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Re: A Game of One Half

Post  Solihull Martyr on Tue Sep 13, 2016 9:42 pm

I blame Caple!!
Solihull Martyr

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