I am Sporticus

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I am Sporticus

Post  Boz1964 on Sat Aug 20, 2016 12:49 pm

I am Sporticus

Well, the irony of the newly installed tannoy system at the Load-Lok Stadium playing the Manic 'Sleet ' Preachers - 'you stole the sun' was not lost on the Merthyr Faithful, as for the entire 90 against Circencester the August rain poured down.

In times past ,a cry that the 'Romans are coming' would have frightened the menfolk of Merthyr Town but not today.

Despite the fact that the Cirencester Centurions should have felt at home in the former fortress at Penydarren Park, they looked a pale shadow of the side that did the double over Merthyr last season.

Granted, two of the Welsh Cohort had deserted the ranks of the Cotswold outfit and returned to their native Cambria, but it didn't start well for Cirencester, as even from the coin toss several of their players thought they had just elected their new MP.

In torrential rain, the away side struggled to come to terms with the bounce of the ball and speed off the 3G with only their number 4 Coates covering well and Goalkeeper Rivers adapting  to the slippery conditions.

From the off, the battle plan from Circencester Emperor 'Hadrian' Hughes was clear, defend the Legion, circle the chariots and hide behind Hadrian's defensive Wall.

Up front, they had a much travelled 100 year old striker who had made his debut when the Coliseum first opened, and being forged from Cotswold Stone moved at the same pace.

Centurion Charlie Griffin, who's name sounds like a Mithras-logical  Merthyr drug baron, had less movement than the arthritic crowd at the Merthyr Madness concert last night, clad in their 'baggy trousers' and 'fez' hats.

There was little 'zimmer' of hope of attacking promise.

It was no surprise that the Circencester defence was undone by the pace of the Merthyr wide players and the first goal tucked away by the eponymous Ian Traylor, who is having a 'Vardy' of a season already, hitting the target with all the aplomb of an Olympic archer.

Merthyr with 'the restoration' of the Prossiah to the starting line, decided to get his own back on the Romans by crucifying THEM.

But despite a number of occasions in which the Holy One his 'toga' tugged from behind, the Bristol referee couldn't be 'Shaw' despite having 'cats eyes' both he and his near side linesman developed a case of 'Cirencester Cataracts' preferring to try and keep the game flowing just like the rain from Jupiter above.

The movement of Refell and interplay from the ever impressive wheeling from Barrow, coupled with the blistering pace of Corey had the Romans on the back sandal for the first half n hour and it seemed only a matter of time before Merthyr 'bagged' a second.

In the driving Summer sleet/rain, it came from our leader at the back, Augustus Rhys Baggridge who slammed in the second to the cry of 'Hail Caesar'.

If ever a player deserved a goal for his efforts it was our Centre Half.

Both he and Gethin Jones looked so comfortable and assured at the back today, albeit playing against a striker with the acceleration of a Sinclair C5 going up Twyn Hill.

As half time came with the Town two to the good, it seemed like it was only a matter of how many the home side would score- V or X?

And one riddle around since Roman times was answered, as our stand witnessed the sight of Superfan Mr Merthyr heading for the tree-lined Appian Way of the Atalanta End toilets.

As to what a Ben does in the woods.

Back under the Main Stand, the Cirencester Senate met in the Aqua Sulis Changing Room to make some tactical changes to try and influence the scoreline.

But the Second Half was no different to the first, as their 'Cirent' Witness Manager continued to fiddle on the sidelines whilst Cirencester burned under the pace of sprinter Corey Jenkins.

It seemed like all roads led to the Roman Goal, as the quality of Barrow, the tenacity of the Ashley, the Welsh Midfield terrier, and the drive of young Adam Davies threatened to Martyr the Centurions, as they caused more damage to Cirencester than Henry VIII.

Assistant coach, the nervous Dr Foster, was clearly out of his depth, as you could hear his stomach 'churn'ing with successive Merthyr raids, as he headed to the 'Vomitarium' for relief.

The third came with all the 'Cirens' going, after their midfielder was robbed (unlike the U.S. Olympic Swimmers),  and the hard- working John Brown took his goal well with a low shot which beat the outstretched Rubicon fingers of the very busy keeper.

So much so, it seemed like Cirencester had more than one goalie- and Brownie had 'many Rivers to cross'.

With the scoreboard at 3-0, Merthyr dropped down a couple of gears from 'ramming speed' and let Cirencester come onto them but despite hitting the woodwork a couple of times early on both Garner and Gethin were determined to keep a clean 'toga' against their former employers and definitely earned their 'salt' today.

An easy victory in the end, as Merthyr continue to build momentum and Cirencester having a big 'thumbs down' from me today, as the poorest team to visit our Arena this season.

They needed a 'Sporticus' figure to follow both on and off the pitch.

With a limited home support, let's hope Cirencester can find a 'Roman' Abramovitch to bail them out- otherwise it will be a long hard season ahead for the Centurions.


Last edited by Boz1964 on Sat Aug 20, 2016 1:08 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Numeral-iCal error)

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Re: I am Sporticus

Post  OWNES1 on Wed Aug 24, 2016 1:39 pm

Hail Boz.


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The Life of Ryan

Post  Boz1964 on Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:45 am

Ownes...even with your powers of detection ...I bet you didn't work out the title of last weeks sacrificial offering to football Gods....Boz

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Re: I am Sporticus

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