Dunstable- Downtable

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Dunstable- Downtable

Post  Boz1964 on Sat Aug 13, 2016 12:31 pm

Dunstable Downtable

What a crazy football match today at the Loadlok.

The visitors, Dunstable came to Town and gave Merthyr a real game, that had Former Martyr Len Sankey applauding from his Directors Club Cloud high up in Heaven.

As the Bedfordshire side lined up, I was glad we hadn't decided to close the roof on the Welsh Football's equivalent of the Millennium Stadium, as one or two of their players would have had to duck their heads, such as was the size of their guys.

These Whipsnade Lions and Tigers were certainly not made of chalk but had more muscle mass than a banned Russian Olympic shot putteress.

Man for man, they were head n shoulders above our lads and far more physical too.

However, inside the first twenty or so minutes they could have been 3-0 down as Merthyr turned on the style and should have gone ahead from efforts from the Merthyr Merlin-Wing Wizard Ian Traylor, Keyon Refell and Captain Marble.

The closest of which was a cross-cum speculative shot from Ashley Evans which rebounded off the equi-distant meeting point of bar and post- proving he is well capable of playing 'Confluence' level Football.

It seemed only a matter of time before Merthyr would score and that privilege fell to Kaynomite, who steered the ball home into the bottom left hand corner of the net to the delight of the Home Fans.

As usual, the leaping McGlaggon won everything in the air, as he has a higher spring than the Ffynon Dwyn in Pant.

Manager Super Gavin Williams ( or SuperGav as he is known to us mere mortals) revealed exclusively on Martyrs TV this week,  that his secret spring was down not to a pre- match meal of Pasta or Sausage n Chips - but to his love of Salmon.

When it comes to leaping in the air - Nobody is on parr with him.

( Boz note: a parr is a young salmon- educational this forum innit)

And then suddenly like Barry Thomas trying to get sat nav on his electronic scoreboard, Merthyr lost their way.

On the half hour, debutante Curtis McDonald made an 'unhappy ' meal of a clearance that should have disrupted the West End Bowls club match and Dunstable stole the ball and were level with Garner having no chance.

Rumours abounded that some insect had temporarily blinded our out-of-position centre half and blame was initially pointed at his new sponsor.

Gran-aldo's Moth was alleged to be the cause, but never having witnessed the pensioner opening his wallet all game- this was vehemently denied.

The Merthyr crowd looked shocked and initially I thought they had decided to a man to grant a deserved second minutes silence in honour of Len Sankey.

I have no doubt the Merthyr legend is still selling those Lotto Tickets to the great and the good upstairs.

And then the unthinkable happened with Dunstable already counting their one in the 'Bush', a sublime strike from midfielder Talbot from just outside the box flew over Garner for a surprise lead.

A lot of the Bennetorial Army missed it, as they were too busy creaming their blisters from the sponsored walk this Morning.

After all that First half Salmon- leaping of McGlaggon - it was just typical for a Talbot to find the net.

I began to wonder if the omen of the black n white appearance of Marta the Mohican Martyr was more unlucky magpie than Zebra.

Good job she was substituted by an Olympic Neymar Jnr or the Whipsnade Chalk Lion would have his sights on easy prey and a three vital away points.

Halftime came and went with the first booking,following a swift announcement from our new announcer, fANT- Boy Slim-a low sodium version of Alan Jones, who indicated that Captain Marble had been booked for persistent fouling and a late tackle near the near touch line which broke the Whipsnade camel's back.

(For the benefit of the odd Dunstable Fan reading this ...I would translate from Welsh to Cockney rhyming slang....they 'Norman Cook'd him)

Apparently, referee Robert Kiljoy Silk had had a 'brimful of Ash aargh' on 45.

Confidence suddenly flooded into Dunstable who looked a good solid semi- professional outfit.

They had a good balance, their 4 and 11 especially more prominent than Samantha Fox on a cold day.

The game ebbed and flowed with the Tigers and Lions of the away side only being upstaged by the snarling beast at the back that is Rhys Baggridge.

Baggy the Panther is never one to back down and given the size of the task held his temper and his karate black-belt elbows in check, despite their huge 9, Mahogany Pecs, continually winding him up.

In fairness, their striker was a real handful and if he had asked me for MY school pocket money - I wouldn't have argued with him.

He got their third and thoroughly deserved it too, as he looked a real quality striker that should be going places - through brick walls.

Sandwiched in- between came our second goal and equaliser from the head of the Prossiah who as usual hangs up well for crosses.

On the touchline, the linesman, wonderfully named Mr Overthrow, was having a mare, as he was about as active as Neville Chamberlain in 1938, as he continually allowed the away keeper 'Head' room for goal kicks from the Half-Way Line, as the Dunstable muscle heads played route one football, bouncing the ball off their 9's chest back into the packed midfield.

SuperGav countered this tactical switch and responded by way of a triple substitution bringing off the limping McGlaggon, the tiring Gethin Jones and the exhausted Jon Brown whose body was starting to mould a bit and bringing on Jenkins, Wright & a Kalahari Bushman.

I assume he was inspired by the match ball sponsor 'Review My Policy'.

I don't know if it was the smell of feet emanating from the David Miles Stand but something seemed to unsettle the Dunstable defence in the last 20 minutes.

I think it was the pace of speedster Corey Jenkins, who started to get behind their huge number 2 and Corey was felled by one lumbering tackle which nearly cut him in half.

Cor ( for he had lost his e and y) in the lunge, could have rolled around a bit more on the floor ala Dunstable , but got up and continued linking well with Barrow on the left and Merthyr managed to sneak a leveller with Jarrad being in the Wright place at the Wright time to drill his shot low and hard into the far corner.

The Dunstable Manager tried to emulate the inspired substitutions of SuperGav and took off full back, Ebony Teak in the hope of snatching a point.

It nearly worked too, bar for the quality late free- Kick from the Barrow Man which 'buried' the game and stole a point from the brave Bedfordshire lions, which had the ground and Angel Sankey in 'raptures'.

A 4-3 home win from a losing position, late in the day against a quality Dunstable side that possibly deserved a draw for their efforts - who on this Forum can complain about that ( there MUST be someone!).

With the game 'Dun' & Dusted, their manager must be as 'mad as a hatter' with his defence kicking themselves ( instead of us for a change) at the result.

A great game for the neutrals and an even better result for a biased Boz.

Let's hope the sporting public of the Valleys get the message soon- as Merthyr Football Club is only THE place to be for quality entertainment.


Last edited by Boz1964 on Sun Aug 14, 2016 2:50 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Bad joke missed)

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