End of Days

View previous topic View next topic Go down

End of Days

Post  Boz1964 on Sat Apr 09, 2016 1:14 pm

End of Days

As I write this epistle, having just this Morning returned from a weeks vacation in the the Holy Land (a la John Denver), feeling totally relaxed bar for the jet-lag from the flight from Doha, I looked forward to seeing the Mighty Martyrs put on an exhibition of footballing flair to rival that on offer earlier in the week of the 'El Classico'.

Having been out of the touch with the 'Real' World for five whole days , I picked up my free
Pan-Am newspaper on the plane, which revealed a week that saw our fledgling Phoenix Club lifting a piece of silverware last acquired by one of our Predecessor Incarnations in 1951, and a bad one for the Tory Backbench 1922 Committee and evidenced a mixed week for Camerons:-

Cameron Number 1 proves he is the best at attacks avoidance and has another clean sheet.

Cameron Number 10 has had to 'come clean' over his 'piggy bank' and is in the midst of another 1950's C-anal Crisis.

Strange indeed.

Anyway, back to the football, even in my Qatar-tonic-state, this end of season match against St Neots from Cambridge was lacklustre at best, as Merthyr seemed distracted by events off the field with the opening of the refurbished Webley's and Romans overshadowing the actual game on the pitch.

It all started promisingly enough, when with around 20 minutes gone, Kayne McGlaggon was given the freedom of the Theatre End by the back peddling St Neots Defender, who only stopped going backwards, when he touched the metal bars of our new Bristol Zoo turnstiles -with his face looking like a rabbit caught in headlights or a child whose head is stuck through the bars of the polar bear enclosure.

The striker readily accepted the early gift from the church of St Neots- following a lack of ' communion-cation between their centre halves, as Merthyr Town tried to show on the pitch that they are made of the same quality as the newly refurbished Webleys & Romans.

But I fervently 'believe' that the Saints were 'canon'ised by the flashing speed camera of Peter 'the Snapper' Harman- as they were not used to playing at Webley Stadium ( - the Welsh Equivalent of Wembley) - and the former auditor should be 'credited' with an assist.

The tactical plan was for St Corey- the Patron Saint of wingers - to fly up the touch line like he was the Archangel Gabriel himself, and 'cross' for the Prossiah to 'nail' with aplomb and continue his rich vein of scoring.

Unfortunately, St Corey pulled a fetlock and Plan A went the way of the Christians in the Coliseum.

With a lack of 'service' from the left , the 5 goal hairy hero last seen drinking from the
Red Sea Insure Cup -in doing so turning it into the Holy Grail of trophies - looked a pale shadow of the deadly finisher he has been of late.

I sincerely hope though it doesn't turn out to be his 'Last Summer' - as he still has more than the original 13 disciples in the stands - he has been consistently our top goal scorer and has developed an almost telepathic understanding with the fleet-footed Traylor.

There certainly wasn't any evidence of telepathy for the Away Side equaliser, as our right back and keeper got themselves in Neots for a soft headed own goal that the Club should cash in and sell the video rights to 'You've been Framed' under the title 'Bloomer's Blooper Garner Getcha'

The gift seemed to galvanise the Saints, who had clearly set out their stall to get a draw and the point that would assure their continued Premier League Status.

The fans, who to their credit had made the four hour journey were a mix of Justin Belieber converts, old stalwarts and a bigger drummer than the mutated one they found at the Bernard Matthews 'Over the Fens' Chicken Factory.

Neither side 'Oused' class or looked capable of creating any flow or movement to rival that of the near side lino's oversized shorts.

The Cheltenham equivalent of Brian Rix, was too frightened to raise his flag for offside in case he would reveal his Peppa Pig undershorts to the Home Crowd.

The first half ended 1-1 as did the match as a spectacle.

For the next fifteen minutes, the football was sublime, the passing was exquisite, the tackling was passionate and there were goals aplenty- and then to the dismay of the Home Crowd , the Penydarren Boys Club mini-Martyrs of the future, left the field of play for a well deserved shot of bourbon and a Cuban Cigar.

In the second half, Merthyr Town upped the level of play to first gear, and set about using the width of the pitch and the silky dribbling skills of Ian Traylor.

Unfortunately, the drabness of the first half returned and with the Huntington Hunt, displaying all the panache and style that their most famous resident - ex- Prime Minister John Major- possesses- the sky, the new club house exterior and the play on the pitch all turned grey- as did the remaining hair of the frustrated Home Manager Jenks.

The clock ran down with neither keeper troubled- and the only colour on display was that of the Non- Flying Orangeman Goalie, Alex Archer, dressed like a Dairy Lee Triangle, as he signalled wides like a Dutch windmill, as each successive Merthyr attempted shot, hit trees, pylons and telephone poles outside the ground.

Up front, St Neots didn't possess any baby- faced assassin in the mould of John Bellingham, instead of the Saints going marching in - they displayed less ambition to go forward than a Cambridge Crew in the Boat Race, and like a Cornish Monk Barber displaying his tonsure - nothing at the back only the 'relics' of a dissolved Monastery Side , who regularly fell over as if shot by snipers at the least physical contact.

At one stage there more St Neots players laying face down on the deck in the penalty area, than there were left standing upright, as the 'Battle of Santiago' continued, despite the fact there was less physical contact than a Swan Lake Ballet Performance.

Today, with the minds of our players distracted by their after-match trophy presentation and with mission achieved in terms of mid-table mediocrity assured- there was understandably little impetus or desire to do more than a septic tank cleaner and just 'go through the motions'.

At the back for Merthyr once again, Rhys Baggridge was magnificent - until that is when I praised his performance and promptly inflicted the 'curse of the commentator' on him and he hit two 'double-bagger' Colman balls in quick succession - but fortunately neither of which cost Merthyr a goal.

Captain Marble had his usual Player of the Season stand out performance, breaking up play, passing and defending like his life depended on it.

I think at some point he will end up with a big Victorian - sized family - as on the pitch he never pulls out of anything.

Today, real 'Classico' football was not destined to be centre stage on the 3G but more of a relaxed celebration of what has been achieved already this season both on and off the pitch.

There were too many distractions both in terms of sporting events, politics and other factors.

And another 'revelation' - a lot of the fans left even before the trophy presentation took place- stating 'Armageddon- out of here-' perhaps to put the children to bed or rush home to claim their money from BetVictor.

And finally, to end this post with a question:

Is there any truth in the rumour that someone with the surname Rooney entered and rode the winner of the Gran National today at Aintree?

Answers on a Player of the Year Award slip please.

Boz


avatar
Boz1964

Posts : 1852
Join date : 2012-10-08

Back to top Go down

Re: End of Days

Post  OWNES1 on Sun Apr 10, 2016 4:07 am

Aptly titled for a typical end of season game with nothing to play for, role on next season..

OWNES1

Posts : 144
Join date : 2013-04-02
Age : 55
Location : MERTHYR TYDFIL

Back to top Go down

Re: End of Days

Post  Boz1964 on Sun Apr 10, 2016 4:40 am

Well Ownes ....was my Body Odour that bad yesterday that a change of deodorant is needed ?

Boz
avatar
Boz1964

Posts : 1852
Join date : 2012-10-08

Back to top Go down

Re: End of Days

Post  GordonTheGopher on Sun Apr 10, 2016 5:34 am

Could be the two ladies sat next to you soon moved. Very Happy
avatar
GordonTheGopher

Posts : 801
Join date : 2011-01-03
Age : 63
Location : Abergavenny

Back to top Go down

Re: End of Days

Post  Boz1964 on Sun Apr 10, 2016 8:13 am

Well Gord is supposed to know everything.....if not deodorant.... I wonder what character will Ownes come to the match as next season?....Boz
avatar
Boz1964

Posts : 1852
Join date : 2012-10-08

Back to top Go down

Re: End of Days

Post  OWNES1 on Sun Apr 10, 2016 11:26 am

Explain box, please not on the same wavelength for that one.

OWNES1

Posts : 144
Join date : 2013-04-02
Age : 55
Location : MERTHYR TYDFIL

Back to top Go down

Re: End of Days

Post  Boz1964 on Sun Apr 10, 2016 11:35 am

Role on next season?.....Roll on ( Deodorant)?....Box? ....autocorrect on again?.....Boz
avatar
Boz1964

Posts : 1852
Join date : 2012-10-08

Back to top Go down

Re: End of Days

Post  OWNES1 on Sun Apr 10, 2016 11:41 am

Got the roll on, explain the character.

OWNES1

Posts : 144
Join date : 2013-04-02
Age : 55
Location : MERTHYR TYDFIL

Back to top Go down

Re: End of Days

Post  Boz1964 on Sun Apr 10, 2016 11:51 am

Role- to take on the ROLE of a character...like an actor as opposed to the bread or electoral kind....Boz
avatar
Boz1964

Posts : 1852
Join date : 2012-10-08

Back to top Go down

Re: End of Days

Post  OWNES1 on Sun Apr 10, 2016 11:56 am

Got it now, I was on short wave you on long.

OWNES1

Posts : 144
Join date : 2013-04-02
Age : 55
Location : MERTHYR TYDFIL

Back to top Go down

Re: End of Days

Post  Boz1964 on Sun Apr 10, 2016 12:12 pm

The time to worry is when you ARE on the same wavelength as me....ALL the time.....stay thinking outside the 'Box'.....Boz
avatar
Boz1964

Posts : 1852
Join date : 2012-10-08

Back to top Go down

Re: End of Days

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum