O'Tis Redditch

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O'Tis Redditch

Post  Boz1964 on Mon Mar 28, 2016 1:31 pm

O'Tis Redditch

With the new elevator in place and the building works now nearing the final stages, Merthyr entertained Worcester side Redditch United at the Miller Argent Stadium.

With my Medic Son in Town, - our normal lucky mascot - the seating in the normal area of our stand was quite full and I was not afforded the usual two seats that my derrière requires.

As kick off came and the ball passed nonchalantly back from the centre circle, I felt like I was 'sitting on the Doc of the Day , as my side rolled away' .

Now until today, I thought that Redditch was something that Uncle G-G-Granville had brought back with from his stint of National Army Service in Korea, but it turns out to be a New Town South of Birmingham.

As they were top of the League, I expected them to make sweet music on the pitch, especially with a player named 'Jazz Luckie'.

It was not surprising that the side that were top of the pile, would start the game with confidence and an arrogance that come from winning.

In the early stages, their number 10 looked a real player and was a threat all day with his passing, one-twos and ability to shoot from distance.

He would have most certainly have been on the scoresheet had it not for the block tackling of Captain Marble and Rhys Baggridge on the edge of the area.

The pair between them , closed down more football than the Inland Revenue.

Now with Redditch vying for automatic promotion with our South Coast favourites, Poole Town, you would have expected Redditch to be the centre of much 'needle and tackle' industry and not Merthyr, however the reverse was in fact the case.

Redditch played the more cultured football, whereas Merthyr were all about stopping and breaking up the play with our 'Royal Enfield Intercepter' Ashley Evans having a key role.

However the first goal of the game came from one flowing move on the left, slightly against the run of play, which saw a low cross from the cheeky Redditch winger being converted passed keeper Garner for a 1-0 lead.

It left comic defender George Carline smiling and 'seven dirty words' from the crowd later, most of which were aimed at the one-armed Bristolian referee, and the Worcester 'Sauce' Boys were 'topping' the table once more.

And then suddenly, without rhyme nor reason, the Redditch defence pressed the self-destruct button, as centre half Jim Mutton tried sheepishly to clear the ball but hit the back of the charging Kane McGlaggon , who responded in kind by hitting the back of the David Miles net for the Edward Woodward.

The match then ebbed and flowed just like the traffic on the infamous Redditch Ring Road, as both sides cancelled each other out with both Merthyr and the Away side keeping the score down with some last 'Ditch' defending.

After around 25 minutes, our cup final hat-trick hero Ryan Prosser was replaced suffering fatigue from his exertions on Good Friday, unfortunately, the Prossiah found it difficult leaping in the air three days later, as his Easter Rising was affected by injuries to both hands, his side and his crown.

On the field, it seemed that possession football was the tactical order of the day, as I began to fear that Corey Jenkins was wearing his 'green boots' back-to-front, as most of the passes were in 'One Direction' and that direction was backwards.

In a Topsy-Turvey (Kevin?) game, the Redditch lot were undone by a wonder goal from midfielder Jon Brown, who hit a Brazilian-like unstoppable shot from just beyond the Redditch Roundabout, which flew passed stranded keeper Veiga and into the top left hand corner of the net.

It was his first goal from open play for the Club ( bar a penalty shoot-out) as I felt he must have been infected by the 'Zico Virus', as it would have graced any South American Maracana Stadium such was the quality.

Their keeper had no chance of saving it - no way Jose.

Half time came with the 'New Town' ahead of the New Town by 2-1.

In the Second Half, the Champions-elect came out all guns blazing, hoping to knock the hard running Home side out of their stride.

Their number 2 ( Cameron Young according to the Impish Programme) looking anything but number 2, as he put on a display of footballing prowess as he evidenced he has the quality to play at a higher level.

Their Jasper Carrott Haired midfielder, Loveridge, booked in the first half for a pullback, was then replaced for a deserved drink ( Pepsi Max?) and Redditch brought on more height, as they changed tactics by lofting 'Rory Delap'-style long ball throw-ins towards the Merthyr goal, which were resolutely repelled by the heads of Jarrad Wright & the Panther-like Bagheera who stalked the opposition forwards and thwarted and repelled each aerial assault from Birmingham Midland Airways.

Once again, our defiant defence in the shape of Adam Davies and Ashley Evans did more charge downs than a Pamplona Bull.

It certainly gave the Aled Jones Soprano Community Choir something to sing about too.

With the amusingly named referee Bobbie Cockle in charge, Merthyr Fans could not complain about short measures, as the game over ran by at least seven minutes of injury time, which I assume he added on for pulled 'mussels', as once or twice our opponents decided to hit the deck like Bambi on ice, rather than battle for the ball.

It was an invaluable three points and a real yardstick as to the 'progress through stability' that is evident on and off the field.

I have said for a long time time there is very little difference between top and bottom of this league with street-wise experience being crucial in achieving results.

Very soon we will have 'lift-off' in the shape of Webleys & Romans at the same time as our Evostik Premier Status is now stuck fast.

No more 'Blues' but something for our 3G pitch fans to sing about, as our rivals struggle with with end of season fixture congestion and all that Jazz due to 'Muddy Waters'.

Man of the Match for me was the wonderful Ian Traylor, who caused more Red-ditch nightmares than the Joe Pesci character Tommy Devito in Goodfellas.

His running, passing and skill was second to none today, as he continues to shine like a young Johann Cruyff.

If there is one happy 'Valley' tonight ....it isn't in Worcester....but it may be in Dorset.

Boz







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Boz1964

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Re: O'Tis Redditch

Post  Merthyr Imp on Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:39 pm

Very good, Boz - but you really need to listen to the team announcements rather than go by what's printed in the programme (always subject to alteration).

Redditch No. 2 was Simeon Maye, the centre half was Calum Flanagan and Jazz Luckie was not in their squad at all (so unfortunately rather difficult to follow the recommendation in the programme of him being the 'player to watch').

I often wish visiting managers would go along with my team selections rather than insist on their own.
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Re: O'Tis Redditch

Post  Boz1964 on Mon Mar 28, 2016 3:10 pm

Sadly Imp, my hearing is akin to my memory which is even worse than my prostate....I rely on your programme for line-ups ( and pun material) as I don't possess the encyclopaedic knowledge of non- league football that you have...but that's what makes this Forum and your publication worthwhile....Boz
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Re: O'Tis Redditch

Post  Taffia on Mon Mar 28, 2016 3:29 pm

Boz1964 wrote: Sadly Imp, my hearing is akin to my memory which is even worse than my prostate....I rely on your programme for line-ups ( and pun material) as I don't possess the encyclopaedic knowledge of non- league football that you have...but that's what makes this Forum and your publication worthwhile....Boz

Your write-ups still produce a giggle as far as I'm concerned. Brilliant!
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Re: O'Tis Redditch

Post  Boz1964 on Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:18 am

Thanks Taffia,

If I can make someone 'giggle' other than myself ( as I laugh at my OWN jokes) then that is 'music' to my ears.

Most one liners -like the reference to Otis lifts and O'Tis Redditch sitting on the dock of the bay - go over the heads of some readers,but occasionally people who are 'in tune' with my sense of humour and theme of the day switch on to the hidden puns as well as the obvious ones...

Sometimes the 'comedy' has to be read over to get the references.

But great to have positive feedback on occasion.

Boz
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