Frozen Chips

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Frozen Chips

Post  Boz1964 on Tue Mar 01, 2016 5:07 pm

Frozen Chips

On the first official day of Spring, there was an ill wind that blew across Penydarren Park this evening.

With a cold, gloomy, miserable depression emanating from the beaches of Cornwall, a freezing cold wind called Le Mistral brought a chill to this midweek encounter with Chippenham Town.

It was our third 'portion' of Chips in a topsy- turvy season that has seen us lose narrowly away 1-0 and win comfortably at home in the Red Insure against an under strength young Corbynite team ( the Red Wedges or Robert Peelers?).

After all these chips, it was no coincidence therefore that today's ball sponsor was 'Slimming World'.

The high flying Bluebirds were second in the table and were confident of taking at least a point against the inconsistent Martyrs.

The question was which Merthyr Team would turn up tonight?

Jekyll or Hyde.

Before the game started there was a minute silence to recognise the sad passing of one of our past Chairmen , Mr John Reddy.

I for one will be eternally grateful as a fan of the football club in the glory days of the Eighties, when his drive put our Club not only on the map of Europe but also transformed our ground to facilitate a European Cup Tie that will forever live in my memory.

Whilst he was something of a 'Bovril' character, there is no doubting his acumen, as the astute businessman not only developed many of the housing estates that we Tydfilians live in but also transformed the British Legion into the Bessemer Hotel.

He turned the old 'Strikers' Club into the premier wedding venue in the Town and through his contacts with local comedians used the profits from his 'Reddy Money' to build up a football club that was the best in South Wales if not further afield.

In my eyes, he was the ultimate Martyr and not merely a Saint or Papal Knight.

Anyway, enough of JR and back to the usual 'never ending humorous post'.

I assume those black narrow armbands that the players sported must have been issued by Steve Jenkins as they did look like 'Gaffer Tape'.

The players themselves did look well warmed up as they emerged from the players tunnel, unusually on the right hand side.

They did look like they could didn't need the glow of the 'reddy- brek', as they were raring to go.

Out of the traps first as usual was that sprinter Corey Jenkins.

He is so fast that unlike our photographer extraordinaire, Peter Harman, he is never likely to see his car getting stolen from the Gurnos, as his turn of pace is blistering.

However, his teammates Refell and Traylor are no slouches either, as both were 'gone in 60 seconds' too.

But in the early exchanges the away side defence was solid and seemed to outmuscle our diminutive strike force both in the air and on the floor.

Their quick passing on the deck was evidence as to why they are in the play off positions and where they will remain come season end.

Unfortunately, whilst their midfield was creative sending in slide rule passes for their tall number 9 , thankfully they didn't trouble keeper Garner at all, except on one occasion when one shot rebounded off a stalagmite that had formed on the Maldwyn Davies Theatre End Goal.

Most of the shots from their forward line were blasted high over the bar , as Chippenham lived up to their name with the only person troubled was Tim Peake in the International Space Station.

To my surprise ,their attack proved as impotent as a mod Dai Oxo wearing Warwick Davies' underpants.

Up front for the Home Side was the hard working Kaynomite McGlaggon who clearly proved it was a Leap Year, as he leapt here and there -like he was Zebedee in the Magic Roundabout, as he put the Spring into Spring.

Corey Jenkins can run but Kayne McGlaggon certainly can jump.

But he was marked out of the game, by a combination of the centre halves who gave him no room to manouvere, as there was always a chip on his shoulder.

But for all their industry, the Martyrs defence remained resolute too.

Centre half Rhys using his head shoulders and even his 'back-ridge'to win any ball that came his way.

Adam Davies too tackled anything that moved.

In the First Half, the Hereford linesman on the near side was too frightened to raise his flag in case Adam took it off him.

And then, Merthyr took the lead.

It came from Stealth Bomber Ian 'Vapour' Traylor who has a blessed ability of ghosting into the box and hitting the target.

Both he and the Prossiah, have been proven goalscorers at every level so far from 'Park Life' at Taffs Well to the Evo Stick Premier- and praise should be given to the scouts that unearthed these pair of Welsh Diamonds.

And to the tough tackling 'golden' midfielder Jarrad Wright (who was Man of the Match for me ) with the Cloggau Clogger biting more ankles than a corgi with rabies.

With Merthyr up one- nil up and deserved so the referee blew his half- time whistle, which meant Uncle G-g-Granville could get his cup of tea with his usual sixteen sugars.

The second half started with again the Merthyr sprinters running down the sidelines, like ghostly greyhounds from the past and keeping the Chippenham defence on the back foot.

Ian Traylor was defending from the front, chasing down every ball like a springer spaniel in Aberdare Park, nudging the ball forward for his fellow athletes.

With their lead intact, Merthyr tried to build on it with a series of runs by Vapour Traylor and McGlaggon twice had shots that went wide of the target with the crowd collectively holding their breath waiting for the onion bag to bulge.

In reply, Chippenham didn't 'Wilt' under the pressure, but missed two chances from crosses that had their manager kicking his water bottle in frustration

As the game went on , the away side had to push more players forward, as the 'Pooker' Chips tried to gamble on getting an Edward Woodward.

The battle cry was that of the late Chippenham visitor, Eddie Cochrane- C'mon everybody.

Thankfully, the linesman on the far side, thought it was International Flag day, as he continually waved to the Home Crowd with his little stick and yellow football handkerchief.

He even caught their 'slap head' substitute a few times, who had no number or name on the back of his shirt- although I think his name was probably Offah Side.

In desperation, Chippenham threw everything at the Merthyr Goal and even their 'cagey' keeper Kent Kauppinen to see if he could add some 'bite' to their attack.

It was the first time in 37 years of watching football at the Park , have I ever seen an opposing goalkeeper flagged for offside.

He got further up the pitch as the game entered its final stage, with our regular 'heckler' missing a trick by not shouting 'get back in your cage'.

With the last kick of the game, the ball fell to the Holy Beard just outside the box on the far side and he fittingly Chipped the Frozen Chippenham Gnasher for 2-0.

Revenge was sweet for the mild- mannered Striker following the fracas in Wiltshire which had seen him with a bite mark that Brody, Hooper and Quint would have been proud of.

A great win after a battling performance from 1-14 players today and three points, as we edge away from the drop zone towards safety.

With the opening of Webley's just around the corner and the promise of the film launch of Martyrs of 87 in April , all in the Penydarren Park garden is looking rosy.

Having seen the second best Trailer on our Forum ( After our Ian of course) I look forward to much anticipated screening of the 1980's Classic and the final interviews of our Local Heroes.

It should prove a fitting tribute to Mr Reddy and his Class of 87.

If nothing else it has solved a 1980's mystery once and for all .

The much pondered question of 'Who shot JR in Dallas Top?'

And the answer?

Matt the Martyr that's who.



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Re: Frozen Chips

Post  Merthyr Imp on Tue Mar 01, 2016 5:36 pm

Well, Boz, I thought you might have had some comment about Alex Ferguson being in the Chippenham side (their no. 7).
Merthyr Imp

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Re: Frozen Chips

Post  Boz1964 on Wed Mar 02, 2016 1:14 am

Thanks Imp.

That explains the other mystery of the extra time the referee awarded at the end of the game then.


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Re: Frozen Chips

Post  OWNES1 on Wed Mar 02, 2016 5:59 am

Were they Mcain of Birds Eye.


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Re: Frozen Chips

Post  muscles76 on Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:44 am

who was there number 9 very nice player.


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Re: Frozen Chips

Post  Merthyr Imp on Wed Mar 02, 2016 10:28 am

muscles76 wrote:who was there number 9 very nice player.

Oli Taylor. Age 22. An academy graduate at Wycombe, making his first team debut for them in 2012. Had a loan spell at Hitchin Town before a permanent move to Woking. Then moved to Frome Town before joining Chippenham last September.
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Re: Frozen Chips

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